Always counting

Always counting.

I confess, I belong to the group of wanderlust ones. Wikipedia puts it well:

“Wanderlust is a strong desire for or impulse to wander or travel and explore the world. —

The term originates from the German words wandern (to hike) and Lust (desire). The term wandern, frequently misused as a false friend, does in fact not mean “to wander”, but “to hike.” Placing the two words together, translated: “enjoyment of hiking”, although it is commonly described as an enjoyment of strolling, roaming about or wandering. —

In modern German, the use of the word Wanderlust to mean “desire to travel” is less common, having been replaced by Fernweh (lit. “farsickness”), coined as an antonym to Heimweh (“homesickness”).—“

That’s me. Wanderlust. Enjoyment of hiking, desire to travel – and that’s how we get to the ‘counting’ part.

Always counting. There will always be some kind of a countdown going on; Whether it was days left until the plane gets off or the days when an ongoing trip will end. We all know the feeling in stomach when the travel fever raises and we get butterflies in our bellies. “Two more days and London is calling!”  – that’s the exciting waiting part. You count the days to the becoming trip, you mark everything in your calender and imagine yourself there, lying on a white sanded beach or so. You start smiling when you know what’s coming. Then there’s the other part when you’re on the road. First you count the days and weeks and months you’ve already traveled, then the coin turns around and you start feeling kinda sad and anxious after realizing that your holiday is soon to be over. You start counting the final days before going back home. “One last week starts tomorrow… Ugh.”

It’s nice to go back home after a long journey but it’s still always a bit sad to leave, especially if you’ve been in that one place for a longer period of time. Like me; It’s been almost eight moths for me now here in Scotland. Six weeks left. Six weeks is nothing! Four weeks work, then one week in Iceland and after that one more week here in Edinburgh. After that it’s over. It’s time for me to move on and go back home.

So in six weeks I’ll be in Finland again. I’ll have my own room, my privacy (finally…). No more sleeping in a six-bed-dorm in a hostel. I’ll also be spending my time with the people I already know. No new acquaintances, no fellow travel mates around. No shared fridges nor queues for showers. No “CLOSED FOR CLEANING” signs on the bathroom and kitchen doors, and haha, no difficulties about understanding what someone with a strong accent is trying to say to you. Everything is going to be so easy. Even a bit too easy. How am I supposed to get used to that kind of a life style again? The same way as I got used to this one here, I suppose. But soon everything will go back to normal again. All the reasons why I left at the first place are still there. No excitement after the beginning, just routines. The questions about school, work and other life plans will start chasing you. The pressure about making permanent decisions. “What are you going to do know? Settle down, right? No need to go anywhere anymore now that you’ve just been away for almost a year.” Ha! You wish!

After being on the road you get used to the feeling of being free – and that’s what gets you in the hook. It’s almost impossible to go back home and act normal after traveling a while. All the routines creep you out, nothing feels the same again. Everything’s so normal that it starts to feel abnormal to you. You don’t feel free anymore. You’re expectations and the level of living has somehow gone up during your travels. You simply live differently. You’ve used to live in the moment. You know that the life is short. You’ve used to have a limited period of time in one place at a time so you’ve used to take everything out of it. You’re much relaxed now. Why would you be unhappy and live a steady life in your little comfort zone when you know that the life begins when you step out of the zone. You’ve turned out to be a yes person instead of a no person. You now refuse to live inside your comfort zone, a steady life is not enough anymore. You know better.

So when you come back home, nothing will be the same again. After all your experiences and things you’ve learned, after all those places you’ve seen you suddenly start seeing everything from a different point of you. You’ve grown so much during the past weeks that going back home feels like time traveling. Nothing’s changed there, it’s all the same. But you feel different. You feel very much separate and unconnected with everything and everyone that surrounds you at home. You don’t feel comfortable anymore. It doesn’t really feel like home anymore. Home should make you happy and feeling good. But you’ve seen too much. You’ve changed and it’s just not simply you anymore.

So you start thinking about new places to conquer. All those places people you met during your travels told you about. “The little village in the middle of a jungle in Laos… The hot air balloon flight in Morocco. Riding a bicycle around Jamaica. Hitchhiking the route 66. Eating street food in a Mexican city…” All those things. All those places. You’r at home browsing all the photos from your last journey over and over again. Oh, all those memories, all those places that you visited and people you met. Good times. So just like any other candy, you start wanting it more. Where to go next? When to go? And before you even notice, you’re already surfing on Skyscanner, searching desperately for cheap flights to Everywhere (All countries). “Just… please. Take me away.”

First it’s just a little itch in the back of your head and then it starts to spread all over your body. You’re hands can feel it and your feet want to lead you forward, somewhere away. You’ve lost the control. Every day, you start thinking about it more and more. You wish to be somewhere else, you want to go again, move on. The world is out there and it’s calling your name. You’re walking on a street and you look up and see a plane crossing the sky. I wonder where that plane is traveling to… I wish I was there too. Checking the new travel themed boards on Pinterest becomes your daily task. It is an impulse you just can’t control – especially after the first big trip. (For me it was my trip last winter to Australia and New Zealand. I’ve always known that I want to travel the world but after being there it just… I lost the control. It’s too late to stop now. It really is like a drug you get addicted to.)

It is always itching, it is always on your mind. The travel bug. No matter if you were on the road or not, it’s always there.. Next trip, last trip. When can I go again? You have your own travel savings and probably 90 % of your Bucket List has something to do with all the incredible places you want to visit someday. You start to feel anxious. The circle is closing, you want to be somewhere else. The itching just grows and grows, it really starts bothering. You find yourself dreaming about all those other places and new winds every day more and more, and then you reach the point when you just can’t handle it anymore.

And then you book the tickets.

Huh, the feeling. Finally you’ll be able to continue your life again. The wheel starts spinning and you’re able to breath again. The anxiousness is gone. Then you start planning the next trip and basically you’re mind will be with it all the time. You’re excited. The road is there and you’ll be hitting it soon. (For me it’s not the wee trip to Iceland I’ll be having in the beginning in December, but the almost four months trip to Southeast Asia starting on next February. I can’t wait to get there and explore all those undiscovered roads and pathways. It’s going to be magnificent.)

Into the Wild (my ultimate favorite movie and book) is such an inspiration. Jon Krakauer puts it well:

It  is all in the feeling when the airplane lands on another continent, the first bump when it hits the ground or when you see the land for the first time after hours of wondering above the clouds. It is in the feeling when you wake up in a train and you’ve reached a new city in a new country. Everything is so beautiful, so new and interesting. There’s so many adventures out there waiting for you. It is in the feeling of pure joy and happiness that’s spread all over you when after hours of hiking you finally reach the top of a mountain. And it’s visible, people can actually see it when they look at you. You have a sparkle in your eyes. You shine.

But when you’re at home, there’s no one to talk to about those things. All of the adventures, the stories about people you’ve met and outstanding places you’ve been to. They don’t know what you’re talking about, and it’s very possible they don’t even care. You feel that they don’t know you anymore and that’s the truth, you’re not the person you used to be. So what to do now? You start counting.

It’s because of the desire that forces you to move on and go someplace else, explore. The world is out there, why would you stop now? After the first journey it doesn’t feel a big issue anymore. It’s in fact very easy just to take your belongings and go. For the first time in your life you’re now aware of the things and places the world has to offer and it’s like candy you just can’t say no to.

Traveling gives you the feeling of freedom. C’mon, who doesn’t like to feel free? For the first time in your life you’re actually free to do whatever and go wherever. You can be whoever you want to be, you can do whatever you feel like. It’s like a superpower.

It’s the feeling. Almost like a new beginning, when you get to hit the road, you start feeling different. You feel new. You’re like another person, full of joy again. You’re not bored, as you used to be. All those old things in the past, nothing matters anymore. “It’s a new day, a new life, for me… and I’m feeling good.” You find yourself enjoying life again. You feel like you were living, and it’s a good feeling. So some people see it as freedom. There’s no chains anymore to hold you still. You can move and be free. No more obligations nor schedules, no more hectic life, no necessities. No unnecessary stress. Everything’s better now. You feel peaceful. No stress, no worries. Just… don’t worry, be happy.

Of course there’s always ups and downs what it comes to traveling and it can also get very stressful if you’re not for example prepared or laid back enough. But we’ll speak about that some other time. Now the main point is the strong, almost imperative, unconditional desire, an urge to travel and explore. A true wanderlust state of mind. The world is out there, why would I choose to be settled, “stuck” somewhere you don’t want to be – instead of going on the road and letting go. You can go wherever life leads you, go with the flow, they say. There’s so much to see. All the wanders of the Planet Earth. I’m too curious, can’t just stay home and “do nothing”. 😀

So I go.

Back my backpack and get a bus to the airport.

It’s the circle of life.

From head to toes, I am a wanderlust and there’s not much to do about it. No medication, no therapy. You just know that the world is calling your name and you decide to follow your heart and go wherever the intuition leads you. I think it’s beautiful, to be able to let go and see wherever the road might take you. The Earth will always carry you, no matter what happens. No need to be afraid. Go and try, explore. Soon you’ll find out a great deal about yourself, what you want, what you don’t want. Everything’s more clear now. You become you. No wonder people go traveling to find themselves. It is very possible that that’s exactly what will happen.

My beloved travel mates. I believe I can trust you on this one, you will know what I’m talking about when I speak about the desire and counting. It’s in all of us, we’re all the same in a way. We all know how it feels when you get to hit the road again. It’s unspeakable. It’s unforgettable. Nothing beats it. It is the life as we know it.

So don’t stop me now… Cus’ I’m having a good time, having a good time. 

So where will you be going next?