So…
It’s been a while.
No traveling, no blogging.
But I’m back!!!
It’s 20th of January and almost exactly a year ago I had my flight to Bangkok – from where I started my Asia adventures. I can’t believe it’s been a year. I came back in June, and since that I’ve “only” been to Italy for five days and UK for five weeks. To be honest, I was exhausted of all the traveling… Oh man, nearly 20 countries in a bit over one and a half years. That’s crazy. Absolutely madness. No wonder I started feeling a wee bit like going back home in the end…
All my globetrotter friends out there, I don’t know how you do it. Just keep on going, some of you for even years. Traveling from place to place, endless number of bunk beds, no permanent things in life, just change after change, all day long all year around. No own toilet, no own fridge and only few pieces of clothing with you. I mean, okay, that’s all easy, the clothing and stuff. The worst part is that if you have no permanent friends around you, no family, no pets, usually not even a partner or a permanent travel buddy. That’s… I respect. You’re close to superheros there. Not all of us could do it. For me 1,5 years was enough (for a while, now).
But oh. It surely is tempting. Imagine. Just you, a sky full of stars and the big wide world around you. You and your freedom, and nothing else.
You let the wind blow you to the right direction and you don’t stress about time. You probably don’t even know what time it is when someone asks you. You let go the things that don’t matter anymore and you focus on this one moment and this moment only. You’re the lord of your own kingdom and you can choose whatever you do, wherever you go and whenever you do it. There’s no routine. Let the things flow their own way. There’ll be no one stopping you, no one to tell you you can’t do it. No one to have expectations of you. You’re free.
I gotta admit. At first that did sound like an ideal life for me as well. And it surely did feel like it as well! I took everything out of it, and gosh, I lived. I was alive, like never before. It’s like a drug that makes you feel you have the power, and not just feel, you actually have it.
It’s funny what believing in yourself does to you...
And when you feel the power, you’re not afraid to use it. You take everything out of every experience, you’re braver than usual, you’re more social, you try new things – even if you were afraid. You forget who you are “supposed” to be (according to the society and assumptions surrounding you, imprisoning at home) and just, god dammit, you let go of all the things that held you back before and just… you go with it! And you grow with it. You go with the flow and you let the life happen to you. As it does. Always. No matter where you are. Life will happen. (When you travel, it all just happens in fast forward-mode or something.)
But my friends, I’m afraid that’s where the problem lies. It’s when we, the ‘free-souls’, the ‘hippies’, the backpackers, return home. In time, not of course in the beginning, but in time when we get used to the old life, we forget what and who we are, how alive we actually are. You forget how this is the only moment you’re living. You just do whatever, eat whatever. You forget how important this moment really is. You forget that great power, great potential that lies somewhere within you and you surrender to the old life’s routines. Sentences like “I’m afraid I don’t have time” and “I don’t have the energy to do that” become soon the most common used ones.
We let the old way of life drag us down. You fall to what they call “reality”.
I think… the worst part here is the fact that we forget the person who we are when we travel. We forget, how that person lives. And how that person hasn’t gone anywhere. It’s still here, within us, all the time. It’s all here, and we need to listen to that guy if we don’t want to feel trapped. We have the same freedom as we did on the road. The circumstances might have changed, but you have not.
It’s because that guy has all the power you need to feel alive. To live. To face life’s everyday adventures and opportunities with great passion and open-minded attitude, instead of with fear or something else.
That little guy over there, he knows how to live, how to enjoy every moment as it is. How to not only see but also feel the beauty all around us. How to sit on the beach and watch the sunset. How to dance on the table, how to go skin dipping under the bright moonlight with a group of cool Germans you’ve just met. How to face challenges with great bravery, or at least, with your head up, and how to believe in yourself even when you’re not sure in which Asian language you just said ‘thank you’ to the waitress in Malaysia, or, perhaps, when you’re desperately trying to bargain some price down. You do all these things. You jump into that freaking crazy current in the middle of a dark blue sea somewhere in Indonesia, only with your snorkel on, just to swim with these massive sea creatures called manta rays.
You keep your head up.
When you’re on the road, you don’t give up. You’re there only once, why would you lose this great opportunity? I’ve heard this kind of sentence for so many times among my backpacker friends. They all share the same attitude:
“hell yeah, let’s do it!”,
no matter if it was someone who’s just signed up for skydiving (even though she’s afraid of heights), or some crazy Aussie who just simply decides to take his clothes off and run into the ice cold sea in Iceland. (Not mentioning any names, Andrew.) And what they all have in common is something remarkable. They all have faith in themselves, and that faith, my friends, helps them to overcome their fears and grow, become something greater.
Oh, that ice breaking attitude! You will find that place to stay for the night in the middle of the night in Cambodia, because there’s no other chance. It is going to happen, even if that was the last thing you did. Or you will find that yoga place everyone kept telling you about, and after that you will go to the beach and meditate and focus on your inner peace. You will get back on that surfboard again, and after that you will go grab a beer or two and go play pool with your new Canadian roommates.
Little misfortunes and setbacks won’t stop you. You have the attitude, and that’s all you need to survive. At home and during your travels, no matter where you are.
But then… When you’re at home… I feel like everyone’s just too tired and in a hurry all the time. We rarely focus on the moment or our own well being. We have all these schedules and calendars and watches on our hands, just to make sure we know exactly what time it is. It’s funny – we know so much about what’s happening at that moment, but at the same time we know nothing. We’re just running around aimlessly, trying to chase whatever, instead of opening your eyes and observing what’s actually around us all the time. When’s the last time you’ve looked up and wondered about the sky? Or people around you, like you do when you travel? Or basically, anything else than you computer or your phone?
What is important anymore? How come life changes so radically when you return home?
In time, we’ll exhaust ourselves with running around like that. Then we need to go for a holiday, a place where we’ll be feeling the moment’s pure beauty and joy surrounding us again. We’ll be looking at the sky, listening to the wind and feeling the warm sun on our skin. We go there to be the “holiday-me”, to enjoy the moment and not feel stressed about anything anymore. It’s all good, until we get back home. The stress crawls back. It’s absolutely horrible. People get sick because they stress so much. “There’s not enough hours in a day”, is a fairly well-used sentence. How does it sound like to you?
And the answer is right in front of us, all the time.
So, the question is, how could we make the holiday/travel-me to follow us back home as well?
There’s an ancient saying that goes like this:
“You should sit in meditation for twenty minutes every day — unless you’re too busy. Then you should sit for an hour.” -Zen proverb
You do have the time. You just don’t have the energy, the willingness, necessarily. But tell me, why not go to the shore to watch the sunset when feeling anxious or stressed? Why not take a relaxing yoga class or a long, slow, walk in the forest to feel better? Why not eat healthier, taste new things, find all that excitement from around you, again.
Why not?
Anyway. That’s something to think about. Maybe even a new year’s resolution. “To feel more alive again”, “to focus more on the moment”, “to give time to yourself”. To try new things, find the joy in the little things. It’s all here, it’s all there. You just need to look a bit closer.
There’s also an another thing I wanted to share with you. For me, it was life-changing. It’s something I learnt after I came home. Please, think about it. After reading this I wish you will feel more grateful and… loved.
After traveling I felt really exhausted. I just wanted to stop for a while, be in one place, be with my closest ones and just… breathe. I had realized what actually mattered and what did not. The stamps on my passport did not replace the hole in my heart, the loneliness, the cold sadness in my heart.
I decided I would stay in Finland and then see where that leads me to. What I learnt, in these past seven months being at home, is that, in the end, love is all you need. Love, is what will cure you, from the deepest of the deepest darkness. Love. It is all around you, all the time. It has many forms, it might be hard to see, but it’s there. And it’s the people who matters the most. People who will stand with you, for you, help you hold your head up. Be there for you. Support. You only need your loved ones to feel like you belonged somewhere, to feel like you’re at home. Nothing else. The place you are at is irrelevant. You only need is the right people and their love will surround you. It’s all in the the love you receive and the love you give.
What I realized after being away for so long, was all the things my life was missing.
Love.
I came back and tried to settle down. It was a bit of a panic, I must admit. (Still sometimes I feel like I’m still trying to recover…) At first I had no sense of belonging, to anyone or anything. I was used to having no permanent place and no permanent people around me. When you travel, it’s sad, but you have to learn to let go. You say goodbyes all the time, you move on. And now suddenly I was at home again. What is home? I had to learn to connect with my ground again. Be in just one place. Settle down. I also had to connect with myself again. Take a break. Breathe deeply and slooowly. I had to connect with my friends again. I had to learn to live in one place again, and only in one place. No more moving around, chasing adventures, changing cities and people and bars and beaches and jungles. It was time to focus on the important.
People. Closest ones. Friends. Your partner. Your family. Your grandmother. Your dog. Your home.
And I’m glad I did. ❤
One needs to feel loved, in order to function properly. One needs to feel important and that he or she mattered. It helps, if there’s a mission. A purpose, goals. That’s when you manage to maintain your balance and healthy mind. And you know what? Behind it all, there is always love. To love and to be loved. To love yourself. To believe in yourself. To know that there is a bigger self waiting to be discovered, a potential you never thought there was. But oh it is there. In every single one of us.
Just need to seek a bit deeper.
Good luck!
Remember…
― Martin Luther King Jr., A Testament of Hope: The Essential Writings and Speeches
Peace y’all, keep the love flowing! 🙂 ❤
– Jenna












































































































My plan was basically that I don’t have a plan. I had just returned home but I knew I couldn’t be there for any longer. I have always known that Finland is not my home so now that I had once left the place, it didn’t really feel like a big issue to leave it again. I did some calculating and I decided that if I don’t get a job in Scotland, I’ll just come back home after when my money run out. The only thing I was certain about was that I just couldn’t stay in Finland anymore. I had lived my days there and I didn’t have to go back. At least not yet, not in a long while.































It’s because of the desire that forces you to move on and go someplace else, explore. The world is out there, why would you stop now? After the first journey it doesn’t feel a big issue anymore. It’s in fact very easy just to take your belongings and go. For the first time in your life you’re now aware of the things and places the world has to offer and it’s like candy you just can’t say no to.
